Kevin left his club running shirt at the Farley Heath MABAC last Sunday and wondered if anyone had picked it up. Despite having boxes of said shirts in his car boot, it appears that this particular item is a 'winning' shirt and enables Kev to finish in the bottom half of every race in which he participates.
Personally I think that he's worried that a new shirt would make him even faster and so beat ex-chairman and D10 RD, Jellymeister, to the finishing line.
In any event, if someone did pick up Kev's shirt, perhaps you could let him know or reply to this email and I will give him the glad tidings.
URGENT Update - "Hot Off the Press"!
Statement from SCAR (aka J Phillips Esq)
Statement 22nd November 2018 – The Winning Shirt
Following detection of unusual betting patterns on recent MABAC races by syndicates in the far east and allegations of deliberately avoiding the podium, Kevin’s “Winning” shirt was taken into custody by the Serious Crimes (against running) squad at Farley Heath on Sunday 18thNovember 2018.
Despite extensive drug testing they could find no evidence of performance enhancing drugs of any kind, but they have removed two large lead weights and an anvil that were attached to the rear of the shirt.
The shirt has been thoroughly waterboarded and, for the avoidance of doubt, both Kevin and the shirt have been completed exonerated from any alleged crimes and misdemeanours (this time).
The Winning Shirt will be released from custody at the owner’s requested time and place.
The owner must bring along his passport, driving licence and recent utility bill as prove of identity.
and...Be Careful Out There!